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Mewonders where the magic hast gone?

posted by [personal profile] mmoa_writes at 06:16pm on 12/11/2009 under
Like everyone else is, I'm sure.

Life. Eurgh. It's always the stupid little things that trip you up. If I take a step back and cast an objective eye on the course of things so far, nothing's so bad. It becomes easy to take an appropriately socratic indifference to the hurly burly that is modern life. Then I start to think about... stuff (and it's always just stuff. Nothing particularly interesting or terrible. Just stuff) and whoosh! Whirled up into the maelstrum I go.

There's a difference between knowing your limitations and feeling plain sucky and inadequate. I suspect I'm teetering on the verge of the latter. It's really annoying, actually. Nothing stops you from trying like thinking you'll fail anyway. I just want to pick myself up and shake myself. Hard.

Well, I'll go [window] shopping on Saturday. Maybe do some modern art. That should take the edge off things...

In the meanwhile... it's time to do some programming! At which I heartily suck!

Onwards!






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There are 7 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 

(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] glowering.livejournal.com at 06:55pm on 12/11/2009
Ah man this is EXACTLY how I've been feeling recently. Nothing in particular wrong but just lots of little niggles at the back of my brain... should have done that differently... shouldn't have said that... oh no what if I made a bad impression there... not reading enough, not working enough... fail fail fail... blah blah blah. If you come up with a remedy let me know!
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] mmoa.livejournal.com at 07:18pm on 12/11/2009
Methinks that half the remedy is knowing other people feel the same way. I don't advise on listening to people who say annoying things like 'take it easy', however. They are of so little help, they can sometimes become rather annoying.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] glowering.livejournal.com at 07:19pm on 12/11/2009
Indeed. I can inform you that my housemate Rachel is in a similar boat. We bemoan our boats at each other sometimes, it's comforting - if you ever fancy having a bit of a bemoan do email or ring or whatever. I promise I won't say take it easy.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] mmoa.livejournal.com at 06:42pm on 13/11/2009
Will do. I realised I've been cutting myself off from everyone because I've been feeling so sucky for the past two and half weeks. It was a good thing that a) it was my birthday and b) I have friends who are more sensible and thoughtful than I am or I'd probably feel a lot worse by now. Nothing that wakes you from ennui than realising there are people who refuse to be put off by your bouts of gloominess!
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] mmoa.livejournal.com at 07:28pm on 12/11/2009
Argh!! Of course they become rather annoying if they say annoying things. Gah, good god woman, why don't you ever read what you write you obnoxious, overly wordy spinster you...!
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] underlankers.livejournal.com at 08:40pm on 12/11/2009
Sometimes in the moments where I actually reflect on what I'm learning from history in general and American Indian history in particular I get to thinking that humans in general are the punchline of a really sick joke. In such moments I get to thinking like this. Then I get distracted and focus on something else.
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(no subject)

posted by [identity profile] mmoa.livejournal.com at 05:53pm on 25/11/2009
That's usually the ticket. Sometimes, I don't know, I think I enjoy being miserable so crank up the pity-me!/it's all so pointless! engine for all it's worth. But yeah, then I do some art and I think 'oh you're silly'.
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