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On reading this post on men and rape and some of the enusing comments, I found myself yet again becoming quite angry about something very trivial.
Someone made an innocuous statement about teaching children to respect people, but I think this is missing the point and betrays a larger cluelessness that I see in these sorts of discussions. It really isn't enough to just teach children to respect people. Why? Because they are in a society that encourages them not to see certain 'others' as people to begin with. My Uni feminist group has that infamous quote describing feminism as the realisation that women are people and that tells you everything you need to know about the real problem. Respecting other people is no biggie, really - humans are social animals after all - it's seeing that the 'other' is a person to begin with.
So, sorry, but you will have to go that extra mile. You will have to tell your sons that 'women are people' and if you are white you will have to tell your children that 'people of colour are people' and if you are from any particular culture or creed, that 'people from other cultures and no religion/other religions are people' and if you/r partner are cis-gendered that 'transfolk are people'. If you are rich enough to afford at least three of everything, don't forget to tell them that the kid who smells in class and wears worn Primark/Walmart is a person too, and the other one with a funny accent is a person as well. Because every day, the child will be bombarded with information that tells them that the only people that matter are those like them. Everyone else can be laughed at without guilt, can be harrassed with no consequences can be locked out without impunity.
We know we have to respect people. We just have to learn who is a person first.
My eyeball is hurting as if someone's cut a nerve, I'm sneezing like crazy even though I'm on hayfever tablets (I suspect this is related to my hurting eyes) and I am in the full swing of melancholia even though life is fine.
And people wonder why I daydream, ha.
Someone made an innocuous statement about teaching children to respect people, but I think this is missing the point and betrays a larger cluelessness that I see in these sorts of discussions. It really isn't enough to just teach children to respect people. Why? Because they are in a society that encourages them not to see certain 'others' as people to begin with. My Uni feminist group has that infamous quote describing feminism as the realisation that women are people and that tells you everything you need to know about the real problem. Respecting other people is no biggie, really - humans are social animals after all - it's seeing that the 'other' is a person to begin with.
So, sorry, but you will have to go that extra mile. You will have to tell your sons that 'women are people' and if you are white you will have to tell your children that 'people of colour are people' and if you are from any particular culture or creed, that 'people from other cultures and no religion/other religions are people' and if you/r partner are cis-gendered that 'transfolk are people'. If you are rich enough to afford at least three of everything, don't forget to tell them that the kid who smells in class and wears worn Primark/Walmart is a person too, and the other one with a funny accent is a person as well. Because every day, the child will be bombarded with information that tells them that the only people that matter are those like them. Everyone else can be laughed at without guilt, can be harrassed with no consequences can be locked out without impunity.
We know we have to respect people. We just have to learn who is a person first.
My eyeball is hurting as if someone's cut a nerve, I'm sneezing like crazy even though I'm on hayfever tablets (I suspect this is related to my hurting eyes) and I am in the full swing of melancholia even though life is fine.
And people wonder why I daydream, ha.
annoyed